Dealing rejection dating christian
You’ll be the ones turning them away,” yet another friend assures you, with great seriousness.“They’re all waiting for you to show up.” Emboldened by these testimonials, maybe you find someone, or something, that just works for you. He is intelligent, and asks all the right questions about your career.
There’s a kiss goodnight that is pleasant, with not too much tongue and no teeth, and plans, loose plans, are made for the future. It doesn’t feel nice to invest energy or emotional weight towards something, only to have it belly flop a few weeks later. Honestly, we never really know why rejection happens, so it’s best to accept whatever shitty excuses you’re receiving.Rejection Principles First, recognize your problem. Or, as one reader pointed out, you need to consider whether you’re aiming out of your league. If the former, you probably broke a date etiquette rule, e.g. The latter can’t be helped, but the former can be due to various fundamental dating mistakes.After multiple dates, if chemistry (attraction) and compatibility aren’t sufficient enough, you won’t move into relationship-ville.You fall asleep that night with dreams of double dates and long hangouts in the waning summer light dancing through your head. The fear of rejection is the reason a lot of people eschew dating completely, preferring to limit their interactions to encounters that require less emotional commitment and effort. “It’s not you, it’s me” is a terrible thing to hear; it’s cliched, it’s unclear, and most of all, it is a shitty deflection technique, deployed by people who aren’t brave enough to admit what the real problem is. Sure, some weirdo you met on the internet kissed you once or twice or maybe three times, took you out to a couple of weird bars and that one movie neither of you liked, and then at the end of the whole thing, decided that he wasn’t into it. Yeah, the feeling sucks, but it’s also not the worst thing in the world, and it should not stop you from being the successful and happy dating butterfly you’re meant to be.A few more dates go by, each one better than the first, and you can’t help it, but you’ve already started to form an attachment against your better judgement. Rejection is the risk you take when you put yourself out into the world, and it’s a big one. If someone tells you that they “aren’t ready for a relationship,” you have two choices: Whine about how that’s bullshit, or accept the fact that hey, maybe they’re telling the truth. Process the rejection, but also use it as an opportunity to look closer at what you really want. If you’ve run into a string of bad luck in your dating life, it’s natural to want to put on your comfiest sweatshirt and attempt to slowly disappear into the embrace of your sofa, a pint of ice cream in your hands, but don’t stay there too long.As I discuss in my books, don’t blame yourself and don’t blame others. There is no one, and I mean NO ONE, who can’t get dates or find a partner who’s attractive and well-matched to you.
I hear men bitch that you have to be gorgeous or rich to get dates, and I hear women bitch that you have to be gorgeous or young to attract men. But, statistically, most of us aren’t gorgeous or rich, and we still manage to get dates.
Matched with destiny, your future trips happily towards the light.
This is the best case scenario, a situation that everybody assures you will happen, regardless of how dire it all looks.
“I have so many dates on OK Cupid that I hardly know what to do with myself,” says another friend, tugging on a strand of hair as she scrolls through her inbox.
“If you just put yourself out there, you’ll find somebody.
ike conducting a job search, online dating is an exercise in patience, compatibility, and, sometimes, rejection.