Dating red flags
If this person is not open to healing their judgmentalness, then this will become an increasingly major issue in your relationship. In a relationship, this person will blame you for his or her unhappiness. If you identify with any of these red flags, then you have inner work to do before you are ready for a committed loving relationship. is a relationship expert, best-selling author, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process, recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette, and featured on Oprah.
And Mc Dermott recommends steering clear of people who don’t have kids but use undue space in their profile soliciting information about the age and sex of your children. And, interestingly, marriages that begin online are less likely to result in separation or divorce, and those that remained married are happier than their offline counterparts. begin online, according to a 2013 study released by the National Academy of Sciences.Very often, when the person I'm working with has moved ahead with the relationship, one of these issues -- which might not have seemed huge at the beginning -- becomes a major problem leading to the demise of the relationship. As you read this list, don't just focus on the other person.Below is a list of some of the red flags I've discovered. Some of these items might not be deal-breakers for you; if the issue is okay with you, then there is no problem. See if you can identify personally with any of these red flags. The person comes on strong at the beginning of the relationship, and tells you exactly what you want to hear. Narcissists can be very intense in their pursuit, and many of them have learned exactly what to say to pull you in, such as, "I've never felt as connected with anyone else as I feel with you," or "You are the most amazing person I've ever met.I can see that no one has ever really seen you." For many narcissists, the pursuit is everything and once they have you hooked, they are either off to another pursuit, or they become more and more demanding of you. The person becomes angry, critical or withdrawn if you say no. Narcissists need constant attention and often become very upset and punishing if you don't give them what they want. The person becomes logical and tries to talk you out of your feelings or your experience.
He or she tries to make you feel that you are wrong for your feelings or your position.
Christan Marashio, founder of And Thats Why Youre Single.com, adds that “it's normal for people to have some trouble crafting a profile and to use self-deprecating humor to lighten the mood.
Too much humor is usually a sign that the person is insecure and uncomfortable with being vulnerable, which could lead to problems with emotional intimacy down the road.
This is another narcissistic trait: the belief that only his or her feelings and opinions are valid, and that differences pose a threat. The person talks on and on about himself or herself and doesn't ask much about you, or is uninterested when you do talk about yourself. This person is not interested in you or your feelings.
He or she just wants you to keep your attention on them. The person is an older man or woman who has never been married and has been in a series of broken relationships, or has had numerous broken marriages. Abandoning one's children -- other than giving up a baby for adoption -- may indicate lack of empathy.
People get together at their common level of woundedness -- i.e., their common level of self-abandonment. If this person cannot feel pain for your pain and joy for your joy, you will end up feeling very lonely in the relationship. Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances that prevent a parent from seeing their children, or a parent might come to the painful realization that it is not in the child's best interest to be involved with them.