Are you dating an abuser
The great thing about dating is that you are not committing to a relationship, so you can use this process as a way to find out more about a potential partner, and if necessary, cut ties should he or she turn out to have abusive traits investing further in the relationship. They can maintain this control in a diverse number of ways: Although many people don’t realize this, excessive flattery and attention from a charming manipulator is actually a form of control because it keeps you dependent on their praise.If you find yourself being bombarded with text messages, voicemails, calls and e-mails on an hourly basis in the early stages of dating, keep a lookout for other signs.
Nobody should be trying to “change” you immediately when they’re just getting to know you, and if they are, this is a recipe for chaos.Since sarcasm isn’t often considered “abusive” by society, abusers use it as a way to escape accountability for their harsh, condescending tone and belittling behavior.They become more and more condescending in their approach to sarcasm over the course of the relationship – what was once a “playful” sarcastic comment now becomes frequent emotional terrorism that questions your right to have an opinion that challenges theirs.They won’t wait for your response, either: they will continue to persist and pursue you with an unhealthy level of attention without knowing much about you.This level of attentiveness is not actually “flattering” even though it may appear so initially – it’s downright and dangerous.Sarcasm is one of the mighty weapons in an abuser’s arsenal.
Emotional predators enjoy invalidating your thoughts, opinions and emotions by making frequent sarcastic remarks that shame you into never questioning them again.
Dating Emotional Predators: Signs to Look Out For by Shahida Arabi Dating an emotional predator, a narcissist, a sociopath or anyone else who has the potential to be an abusive or toxic influence in your life is a devastating emotional roller coaster of highs and lows.
Although many abusers tend to unfold and reveal their true selves long after they’ve already reeled their victims in, there are some key signs to look out for when dating someone that can foreshadow their future behavior. Abusers want to control and manipulate their victims, so they will find covert ways to maintain control over you psychologically.
As they learn more about you, they are investigating your weak spots and catering their comments towards what they know will hurt you the most.
Knowing you’re triggered by their comments gives them a sadistic sense of satisfaction that alleviates their secret sense of inferiority and strokes their delusions of grandeur, control and aptitude.
Of course, if you’re familiar with the vicious abuse cycle of narcissists which include idealization, devaluation and discard, you’ll know that you’ll soon be thrust off the pedestal.